Pet-peeved

Passive-aggressive people drive me absolutely insane . . . 'cause it's insincerity at it's finest.  It's effin' lyin', is what it is .  . .

Somewhere along the way I lost my ability to sugarcoat, pussyfoot, or dance around things. Beat around the bush, whatever. Bullshit is what I call it, but feel free to use whatever term you deem necessary. 

A family member and I were having a conversation about how different we are.  No ill-will, no malice intended, just a simple, matter-of-fact dialogue about the fact that I am "direct" and "blunt" and she is not.  That's not how she was raised.  Period.  It's like asking her to teach a nuclear physics class with an elementary arithmetic education.  It's just not gonna happen.  Her upbringing ingrained in her that being direct was rude.  Which left me with this question:  Since when did "dishonest" become synonymous with "polite"? When did it become okay to lie to someone in the name of etiquette or manners? 

Yes, I understand that there are such things as "class" and "tact" and I have done some work to take part of the brutal out of my honesty. My husband would probably argue that civility is not in my vocabulary. If something needs to be said, I just say it. There. It's on the table.  I love you enough to tell you the truth, how is that rude?

The people who have helped me the most in my life were those who loved me enough to tell me the truth---no matter what.  It wasn't always what they were saying but the way they were saying it that caught my attention.  I can assure you none of them were holding my hands, empathetically gazing in to my eyes and telling me how much they loved me.  Nuh-uh.  They just effin' said what needed to be said.  If it hurt my feelings?  They were the first to hand me a box of tissue and move on . . . . maybe I needed to have my feelings hurt.  I respect and admire those people.  My appreciation for them and their candor grows as I get older.

"Say what you mean and mean what you say":  we both know what's going on, what needs to be done, if anything, and where we stand.  Again, how is this rude?  In my experience, being direct cuts through all the "fluff" to get to the real deal; however trivial or monumental, so whatever needs to be done gets dealt with and it's finished.  Movin' on. 

I find it interesting that the very people who complain about my "ability" are the first ones to call when they want some difficulty addressed.  And they're usually the ones who break up in laughter after hearing someone else called out on their stuff.  Probably because they're thinking exactly what I'm saying, but unlike their two-faced, holier-than-though selves, I have the balls to say it.  Who's bein' rude now?  Bitches. 

I don't know when my proclivity for bullshit left me, exactly, but I am grateful it did--sometimes. At other times I think my life would be a lot easier if I could spew out whatever it is that I think you want to hear and everything could be all honey and roses and tip-toeing through the tulips and all that other crap.

Yeah, it's gone.  Long gone.